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Does independence pave way for interdependence?

Does independence pave way for interdependence?

The parents do care way too much about their children that sometimes they land in the wrong method of parenting thinking that it would foster the development of the kids. Yes! I am talking about the parenting style that ultimately seeks the independence of the children. To analyse the style further, one has to know the different stages of child development at the eye of psychology.

The very first stage of development in a child is dependence. We all know that newborn babies are extremely dependent on the parents for their living. Well, it is only a passing could. The children have to move on to the next stage at some point or the other. But there are cases where the parents pamper the child too much that they settle themselves at this dependent stage even after attaining adolescence.

The next stage that follows dependence on independence. This is where the problem lies. Most of the parents are obsessed with raising independent children. By independence they mean, individuals who don’t need other guidance, who can make decisions on their, who recognise their true value without others opinion and the ones who are self-aware. There is no denying that independence is essential for a healthy being. But the parents should not let the children stay at this stage. With independence comes to power and there are chances for the kids to become self-centred which no good. They should be aware that No man is an island! Everyone is a part of a whole. Therefore we should live as a community in order to thrive. So, it is important to teach your kids compassion and empathy towards fellow beings. That is where interdependence comes in.

If interdependence is the goal then, independence is the way to achieve it and that answers the question of whether independence leads to interdependence. If you wonder how interdependence differs from independence, it is simply a combination of dependence and independence. That is, it equates both the consciousness of the self and the recognition of others. Interdependence style of parenting advocates that a person has to be both independent and accountable. It’s always the case that the parents want their children to manage things on their own. But it is also equally important for them to connect with other people. Interdependence is mutual. It is only through this that an individual can thrive. It also helps to build a community together that leads to happy living.

How can you help children to develop interdependence ?

Interdependence has to start with the family. All the members of the family should always work together. This is the best way to help your children get along with the outer world. As parents, you can help them in homework, take them out for a cycle or bike ride, do gardening together, teach them to prepare certain easy recipes, work on the daily chores and do any other activity that builds a strong bond. Often we see that unhealthy relationship in the family due to the power struggles. For instance, the father would take up a high share of the power leaving the daughter deprived of it. so, make sure that you share the responsibilities in the family in such a way that it aids in the building of stronger bond between people. Your children have to be independent but interdependence offers a happy and healthy way of living.

Courtesy: Article has the inspiration from, Pictures from


Jenifer Deivanayagam

Research Intern


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